While it is not always easy to interact with people from a different culture that we are not familiar with, taking an interest can be a very rewarding experience and of great benefit to an individual. We deprive ourselves of the inter-cultural knowledge and advantage that is necessary to lead us to collective harmony and well being. Too often, we tend to judge people from different cultures from our own cultural lenses. Cultural exchanges and people to people understanding has never been as important as in this age of globalization.
Meeting a Chinese person for the first time for most Kenyans is like their “first class in physics”. Not knowing what to expect, and reflecting on what we have heard and made to believe, we tend to adapt an irresolute attitude that only serves to limit how much we can gain can gain and give back in terms of cultural knowledge and understanding. Many people think Chinese is the most difficult language, Chinese have bad eyesight, they eat cats and dogs, they know Kung fu, are anti-social and etc. Only when we get interested, explore, learn about them, go and meet them, their country, how they live, will we be able to appreciate our differences and open up new ways of seeing them and changing our mindsets. Here are a few points to note that can help you understand and interact better with the Chinese people for business and friendship.
The best way to break the ice with a Chinese for a non-Chinese or a foreigner in China is to greet them in their own language. Chinese language was not common outside China and its environs and it’s only beginning to spread across the globe as a result of its emerging status as a dominant player in the world’s affairs. The Chinese people are very happy to hear a foreigner speak it, no matter how little or how badly.” Ni Hao” is a good start and for the Kenyan youth, sounds like a combination of Nairobi’s Swahili –English slang “Ni how” or “How is it”. The fact that you can speak a little Chinese will immediately bring a smile on a Chinese face and significantly warm the conversation.
In Africa and in the west, we greet each other and show affection through handshaking, hugging and kissing. In China, although shaking hands is becoming common, people did not hug and kiss during greetings, even amongst closest friends. Ni how and a nod works just right. Handshakes are common form of greeting foreigners and it is formal; the oldest or senior person is always greeted first. Strong handshakes are not the norm as in the case of western and African handshaking especially to signify confidence as in giving an affirmation or sealing a deal. Many Chinese will look towards the ground when greeting someone, this does not mean they are shy or unreceptive; it is a cultural trait that they are accustomed with. However, the younger generation of Chinese is becoming more liberal and adopting international trends and cultures. In today’s modern society, certain traditional greetings such as bowing have been abandoned while some traditional greetings such as the Chinese martial arts greeting (Wushu) of fist-wrapping are still preserved.
The Chinese non-verbal communication speaks volumes and should not be taken for granted. They rely on facial expressions, tone of voice and posture to express feelings and attitudes. For example frowning while someone is speaking will be interpreted as a sign of disagreement. It was considered disrespectful to stare into another person’s eyes, especially a senior or older person and in crowded situations; the Chinese generally avoid eye contact to give themselves privacy. Therefore, most Chinese maintain an impassive expression when speaking.
Chinese history and culture was based on hierarchy and formality. The Chinese people maintain a formal tone and attitude in most situations. Even amongst very close friends, there is some degree of respect and honor that is maintained. It is common for Chinese people to address the other person by an honorific title and their surname. If they want to move to a first name basis, they will advise you which name to use in case of difficulty in pronouncing their Chinese names in the case of non Chinese speaking people.
As in other cultures, Chinese people appreciate their friends with gifts and presents. Gifts giving are part and parcel of Chinese in business or between friends. Gift exchanging is common during the Chinese New year when Chinese people remember their friends and family by wishing them a happy new year with hood health and good luck. Gifts are also given during weddings, births and other occasions. Do not give scissors, knives or cutting utensils as these indicate the severing of the relationship or the friendship. Handkerchiefs and straw sandals are associated with death and funerals. Gifts should be wrapped in red and not white, blue or black paper. Red symbolizes good fortune and joy.
And most importantly; to establish and maintain a good relationship; whether you are friends or business associates, arrive on time or slightly early. The Chinese people view punctuality as a virtue and therefore arriving late could negatively affect your relationship.
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